Okay, take a deep yogic breath and count to 10. I am not talking about the weapons of mass destruction. I am talking about another, possible relationship-ending WMD. I am talking about the woman/man disconnect that could cause a series of small wars in your home. Women, at this point you may chuckle; men you are probably scratching your heads … this is my case and point!
Women and men are intrinsically different and communicate in ways that fit their gender. Oftentimes, they are saying the same things, – but what is “said” and what is “heard” can vary dramatically. Men have a need to fix the situation and offer solutions, while women just want to vent or share.
Many times I have tried to explain to my husband my desired response from him … I have actually been told when I share a story that I give my husband tired head. (This is ironic because my girlfriends have no problem understanding the identical story, and often validate my actions in the story.)I have learned to recognize the glazed-over expression he gives me (which actually is his brain trying to calculate, what he wants to say versus what he thinks I want to hear plus what the outcome of my reaction will bring plus will his response minus my reaction plus the end result equal stability in the house). Confused yet? See, we all have tired head just thinking about it.
I will be fair and say that this article is written from the woman’s perspective. I can try to explain what my husband perceives as my communication issues, but only 50% of the readers would understand. It’s not your fault, or mine, that communication is so difficult. The difficulty in communication actually is not in the words, but the translation of those words. Fortunately, men and women are often “saying” identical things … the disconnect is in the interpretation!
Do not panic. This does not mean we will have WWIII in our relationships. Men and women both have the recognition ability! One person is bound to recognize that each party is saying the same thing.
Learn to love the expression WMD and don’t be afraid to say it aloud. Use it as a concise explanation when there is a man/woman disconnect. When you are having a conversation with someone of the opposite sex, and the person listens to you and says they disagree. Listen to their reasoning and explanation. You may often find they are saying the exact same thing, but using different words. Do not throw up your hands in frustration. Simply say WMD. Teach your male friends and intimates this term as well. It will save you many an argument and allow you both to feel satisfaction. There is no concession needed when both parties are right and on the same page.
