Top Three Reasons Conan Should Switch Networks

1. We miss the old Conan! Remember when Conan used to be laugh-out-loud funny. I miss his face morphs and political incorrectness. Moving to an earlier time has curbed his humor and restricted his range of “acceptable” material.

2. Know/Go where you’re appreciated. NBC’s behavior has been deplorable. They have not supported Conan and hindered his changces of success from the get-go. Airing Leno before Conan was a no confidence vote from day one.

3. Mainstream Madness. Conan has never been for the mainstream audience. Conan helped secure his comedic footing as a writer for The Simpsons on Fox. Fox has already stated their love for the experienced late-night host. A move to a different network may be just what he needs to return to his former glory.

Signs of Successful Future! Conan has been fearless in his monologues lately. He’s not afraid to poke fun at NBC and has done it with integrity. He knows that he’s been mistreated and his jabs are poignant and hilarious. As Conan returns to his humorous heyday, he should be on a station that deserves to reap the rewards.

2009 Worst of Tube and Screen

Although 2009 offered many hits on the big and small screen, it also had a number of misses. As my gift to you this holiday season, I've dedicated my top three column to things you should avoid!

FILM
Bad Lieutenant – Mr. Cage, I didn’t think the day would come when I saw anything worse than your terrible hairpiece, plugs and extensions. Then I saw this movie. I guess you should be congratulated for that small feat. For an actor who once had Indie clout and gave unforgettable performances in Valley Girl, Raising Arizona and Leaving Las Vegas, I have no choice but to shake my head and sigh. One poor movie choice could be forgiven, but a decade of unwatchable films is unforgivable. In this upcoming years, please, please, please make better acting choices, or your fanbase will completely disappear.

Bruno – Sacha Baron Cohen is a chameleon. A gifted comedian and satirist who isn’t afraid to say what he thinks or take on an unlikable character. Viewers had high hopes after Borat. I suppose, those hopes made this movie feel like an even greater disappointment. I have no problem with political incorrectness … to be honest, I sort of relish it. But I don’t have the patience for vulgarity for vulgarity’s sake. Bruno had glimmers and moments of genius, but they were far outweighed by a ridiculous premise and plot.

The Soloist – One Oscar Winner plus a two-time Academy award nominee plus a fabulous feel-good true story should equal success. Instead, all the players in the soloist only added up to disaster! Jamie Foxx has shown that he has acting cops and dramatic range. However, his performance seemed memorized and forced. Yes, he quoted all the lines, but there was no emotion. Simply recitation and over the top dramatics. The movie took a preachy tone. I have many criticisms of this film, but my strongest objection is to the five-minute laser light show instrumentation that served no purpose other than to give audiences an intermission from a terrible show!

TUBE
The Beautiful Life (TBL) – This show should have been given the acronym TBLA; loosely translated to to be laughed at. They may blame Mischa Barton’s hospitalization to the low ratings. Come on, we all know that everyone loves watching tain wrecks. If anything, her hardships should have increased ratings. I’m a little embarrassed to say this, but she was the only watchable member of the entire cast. Perhaps Ashton Kutcher should leave his creative ideas for “reality shows.” Maybe if he’d added Jerry Springer and turned it into a Models Meet Mayhem, it would have survived.The ratings were thinner than the models on the show.

Brothers – Another show that should have been renamed. This one to Oh, brother. Who knew it could be so hard to play yourself. Football star Michael Strathan returns home to help his fictitious family. I don’t mean to sound oversensitive, but I think it’s quite appalling that the running gag of the show is Strathan’s mother stabbing her handicapped sun in the leg with a fork because she’s convinced he’s faking an accident. Note to writers, this attempt at humor falls flat. Do yourself a favor, go the distance and avoid this show at all costs.

The Middle – Patricia Heaton solidified her status as a television mom with Everybody Loves Raymond. Yes, we know you can play the role Patricia. The question is if you’ve done it once and done it successfully, why oh why must you keep trying to reinvent the character. Your single mom character in Back to You was awful. You’ve now graduated to abysmal with The Middle. Producer note: Stop casting characters that are identical to previous successful shows. This show will leave viewers feeling like they, like the show are in the middle of nowhere.

Take Three: Things That Make You Go Hmmmmmm

Take Three usually contains my commentary on entertainment stories and headlines. However, the media has been consumed by predator-style coverage of Tiger Woods and his adulterous behavior. Woods never questioned being photographed wearing his Nike hats or carrying any of his endorsed products. However, he’s asking the media to give him privacy during this difficult period in his life. Media attention and being in the media attention can be glaring … and, oftentimes, the media magnifies minute problems, but is magnification occurring now?

My opinion is that adultery is usually a result of a greater problem … a symptom, not a cause. Tiger’s celebrity status does not shield him from making mistakes or being human. It does not provide a “cover” for errors in judgment. People don’t question whether or not Woods is human. They should accept that he is going to make mistakes – both large and small. Stars should receive the same rights to privacy that non-celebrities receive.

Woods’ apology, posted on his Web site, makes clear that he believes his personal difficulties should be kept private. The public does not have a right to interfere. They may be judgmental and have their own opinions, but their thoughts won’t influence or impact Woods. For we are bystander, watching from a distance. My hope is that Woods and his family are able to work through their issues, but the media spotlight and coverage will make the healing process more difficult.

Celebrity status – and all of the benefits that come with it – is not something that can be turned on and off. For most, no matter how great the ride, there are always cracks that appear in their image of perfection. I, for one, do not believe the media should pry and expose the foibles of celebrities, but I also believe that you reap what you sow.

Take Three: Grateful Edition

Independent Films
As a huge film and entertainment buff, I am grateful for the independent film industry. This year, I have seen an enormous number of films. Many of these movies were extraordinary. Precious, An Education, World’s Greatest Dad, The Hurt Locker, Moon … my list can go on and on. These phenomenal films may not be financial successes, but are certainly thought-provoking and emotionally moving gems. I am grateful that these movies were able to find the funding to get made, and I encourage you to give them a chance.

Television
I have been exceptionally entertained by the new shows this season. I wonder who at the studios gave the green light to The Beautiful Life, produced by Ashton Kutcher. I try to be unbiased and give new shows a chance. I am pretty sure that the peals of laughter that could be heard from my apartment during premiere week, should not have happened … especially since some of the shows that emitted the biggest smirks and smiles were supposed to be dramas. Although there were a large number of stinkers this season … I do relish watching Modern Family, Glee and Community.

Arts
When I was young, my parents and grandparents “dragged” me to museum after museum after museum. Although I initially resisted, I learned to love and appreciate artwork of all types. As I got older, I looked forward to attending exhibits and eventually went on my own. When I attended college, I loved every art history course I took (one a year) and now search the paper for shows that travel to my community. I am terrified at the number of galleries and studios that are closing in my area and around the nation. I am grateful for the artists that dare to bring their visions to canvases.

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for people who work in the film, arts and entertainment industry!

Take Three (Nov. 20)

Moon Madness!
Is it normal that I –like thousands, maybe even millions of women out there– am hiding a secret. A big secret … even though I’m exceptionally happy in my personal life and relationships, I’ve been searching the Web for scoop and oggling a shirtless teen. I’ll admit it I’m hooked on the Twilight saga and can’t wait to see the new movie, in which underdog Jacob mans up on the big screen. In case you have been hiding under a rock for the past few years, Jacob is the jilted werewolf who Bella begins to develop feelings for after Edward, a vampire, leaves her alone in the forest. I know I may sound like a rambling woman, but I do not like Edward. Not one teeny bit! I’m 100% team Jacob and I don’t care what you vampire-loving fans have to say … For the fans out there, let’s hope New Moon will satiate our big-screen Twilight saga cravings until the next chapter is released.

TV Trauma
I became hooked on Private Practice last season. I’ll admit that it’s not normal for a drugged-up shrink to give instructions to a former crazy-bird patient on how to safely extract a baby from inside of her. Oh wait, that’s from last season. We’re only a few episodes into this season and the writer’s have written another implausible episode. Sadly, it didn’t make for gripping television. Last week Drs. Addison (Kate Walsh) and Beckett (Taye Diggs) were hiking, when the heard distress cries. What a coincidence that two doctors, one who specializes in pregnant women, should stumble upon (drum roll, please) an injured man and his pregnant wife, who is stranded in the car. Which genius writer decided that the best way to confront the potential chemistry between two cast members should take place in an isolated forest, witnessed by a mangled husband and his soon to be in- labor wife. It’s a shame the episode didn’t spend more time on the subplot occurring in the office practice. I needed a doctor to create chemistry between two leads in the closing kiss scene. Note to Writers: Zero chemistry equals zero ratings…..

Put Up Your Dukes
I’d like to start by thanking the Academy. Thank-you for leaving Capitalism off the list of documentary nominees. The only love story that occurs in this “film” is the one between Michael Moore and his ego. Now that we’ve had our pleasantries, Academy, shame on you. How could you leave Tyson out of this list? The movie is creative, thought provoking and revealing. You don’t have to like the man to like the movie. This knock-out movie may not have been in the theaters long, but it sure packed an emotional punch! See our review on SkyTramExpress.com (SkyCam @ the movies).